Genesis 3:17-19 NLT 
And to the man he said,

“Since you listened to your wife and ate from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat, the ground is cursed because of you. All your life you will struggle to scratch a living from it. It will grow thorns and thistles for you, though you will eat of its grains. By the sweat of your brow will you have food to eat until you return to the ground from which you were made. For you were made from dust, and to dust you will return.”

Genesis 3:16 NLT

Then he said to the woman,

“I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.”

• The cure for control is to return to the lordship of our Jesus Christ.

Mark 10:42-45 (NLT)

So Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

1 Peter 3:7 (NLT)

In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

Ephesians 6:4 (ESV)

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

• Relationships will never be healthy if there is control.

Three ingredients (types) of control:

#1) MANIPULATION

Revelation 2:18-23 (NLT)

18 “Write this letter to the angel of the church in Thyatira. This is the message from the Son of God, whose eyes are like flames of fire, whose feet are like polished bronze:

19 “I know all the things you do. I have seen your love, your faith, your service, and your patient endurance. And I can see your constant improvement in all these things.

20 “But I have this complaint against you. You are permitting that woman—that Jezebel who calls herself a prophet—to lead my servants astray. She teaches them to commit sexual sin and to eat food offered to idols. 21 I gave her time to repent, but she does not want to turn away from her immorality.

22 “Therefore, I will throw her on a bed of suffering, and those who commit adultery with her will suffer greatly unless they repent and turn away from her evil deeds. 23 I will strike her children dead. Then all the churches will know that I am the one who searches out the thoughts and intentions of every person. And I will give to each of you whatever you deserve.

2 Kings 9:30 Voice

When Jehu arrived in Jezreel, Jezebel was informed of his arrival. She put on her best make-up and fixed her hair, and she stuck her head out her window.

• Manipulation = unfairly controlling or influencing
• A person who feels weaker manipulates.
• God hates manipulation. It is witchcraft.

Galatians 5:19-21 (NLT)

19 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures,20 idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division,21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 (NLT)

1 You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. 2 For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. 3 They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. 4 They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. 5 They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!

#2) INTIMIDATION

1 Kings 19:1-3 Voice

When Ahab arrived in Jezreel, he told Jezebel about everything that had taken place. He told her how Elijah had executed all the prophets of Baal with a sword, and she became furious. Jezebel sent an urgent message to Elijah.

Jezebel’s Message: May the gods kill me and worse, if I haven’t killed you the way you killed their priests by this time tomorrow. Your end is near, Elijah.

Terrified, Elijah quickly ran for his life. He traveled the length of Israel in one day and finally arrived at Beersheba, the southern point of God’s territory, which is in Judah. When he arrived, he instructed his servant to remain there while he sought solitude.

Intimidation is terrorism.

• Intimidation = using actions to change someone’s behavior.

1 Corinthians 13:4-6 (NLT)

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

True love is fearless.

1 John 4:18 (NIV)

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

#3) DOMINATION

1 Kings 18:4 NLT

Once when Jezebel had tried to kill all the LORD’s prophets, Obadiah had hidden 100 of them in two caves. He put fifty prophets in each cave and supplied them with food and water.)

• Domination = using your authority for total control, ruling power over someone’s life.

How do you know you are being controlled?

• If when you don’t do what they tell you to do, you have a price to pay.

Romans 16:17-18 (ESV)

I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive.

Why does God curse control?

1) The person in control is taking God’s place.

2) Prevents trust & intimacy.

3) It presents an incorrect image of God.

CONCLUSION

Why do people control?

1) Pride (Proverb 16:18)

2) Deception

Obadiah 1:3 NLT

You have been deceived by your own pride because you live in a rock fortress and make your home high in the mountains. ‘Who can ever reach us way up here?’ you ask boastfully.

3) Fear

Job 3:25 NLT

What I always feared has happened to me. What I dreaded has come true.

4) Self-trust

2 Corinthians 1:9 (NLT)

In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead.

When you don’t trust God with people, you will try to be God with people.

• If you don’t trust God with people … you will try to manipulate, intimidate, dominate people to get the results you want without God.

How do we break away from this worldly current of control?

• Return to the lordship of our Jesus Christ.

What does God say about control in His Word?

• The only control we should exercise is SELF-CONTROL.

Galatians 5:22-23 Voice

The Holy Spirit produces a different kind of fruit: unconditional love, joy, peace, patience, kindheartedness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. You won’t find any law opposed to fruit like this.

• God gave you the Holy Spirit which empowers you to have self-control.

2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV)

for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

Proverbs 25:28 Voice

Like a conquered city with no walls, so is a man who has no self-control.

We are not called to control others. We are called to live in His freedom.

1 Corinthians 9:25-27 (ESV)

Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.