Colossians 3:18-21 (ESV)

18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

• Today, we’re looking once again at Colossians 3 to see how a life raised by Christ must reflect a ‘Higher Calling’ in our most private relationships.”
• If Christ has truly raised you to new life, your life at home must reflect a higher calling.
• The arena of relationships is our best testing ground for spiritual authenticity.

If Christ rules your heart, He must reshape your home.

#1) WIVES: Respect by Submission (V. 18)

Colossians 3:18 (ESV)

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Ephesians 5:21 (ESV)

submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 5:22 (ESV)

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:23-24 (ESV)

23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

• Submit = to subject or subordinate voluntarily

1 Corinthians 15:24-28 (ESV)

24 Then comes the end, when he delivers the kingdom to God the Father after destroying every rule and every authority and power. 25 For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet. 26 The last enemy to be destroyed is death. 27 For “God has put all things in subjection under his feet.” But when it says, “all things are put in subjection,” it is plain that he is excepted who put all things in subjection under him. 28 When all things are subjected to him, then the Son himself will also be subjected to him who put all things in subjection under him, that God may be all in all.

Submission isn’t about losing your voice—it’s about trusting God’s order.

1 Corinthians 11:3 (ESV)

But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.

1 Peter 5:6 (ESV)

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,

James 4:10 (ESV)

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

Luke 14:11 (ESV)

For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Proverbs 14:1 (NLT)
A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.

• Self evaluation for Wives: “Is my choice to submit based on my husband’s performance, or my commitment to Jesus?” 

#2) HUSBANDS: Love Like Christ (V. 19)

Colossians 3:19 (ESV)

Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

A godly husband doesn’t demand respect—he cultivates it through love.

• Harsh = to make bitter; ill-tempered.

Proverbs 15:1 (ESV)
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Harsh words build walls; Christ-like love builds homes.

1 Peter 3:7 (ESV)

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Ephesians 5:25 ESV

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

• Gave = paradidōmi = intrust, transmit; put in prison; give over; commit; deliver up

Ephesians 5:26-29 (ESV)

26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,

• Self evaluation for Husbands: “Am I nourishing and cherishing my wife as my own body, or am I being harsh?”. 

Ephesians 5:31 ESV

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

• Leave = kataleipō = abandon; forsake

#3) CHILDREN: Honor Through Obedience (V. 20)

Colossians 3:20 (ESV)

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Obedience today shapes who you become tomorrow.

Ephesians 6:1-3 NKJV

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise:

3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”

John 6:38-40 (ESV)

38 For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me. 39 And this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up on the last day. 40 For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.”

John 15:10 (ESV)

If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love.

Exodus 20:12 (ESV)

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.

#4) FATHERS: Encourage Without Provoking (V. 21)

Colossians 3:21 (ESV)

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

• Provoke = erethizō = ; embitter; stir up; irritate; nagging; deliberately annoy or anger; incite to do or feel something; especially by arousing anger.

Your words can either build their future or break their spirit.

Proverbs 3:11-12 (NLT)

My child, don’t reject the LORD’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you.

For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.

Proverbs 29:17 (ESV)

Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.

Correction without love creates rebellion.

• Self-evaluation for Parents: “Is my discipline intended to correct with love, or is it an outlet for my own anger?”.

Ephesians 6:4 NKJV

And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

Discipline should shape the heart, not crush it.

CONCLUSION

You can’t have a Christ-centered church with Christ-neglected homes.

• God calls us to a higher calling in our homes. Demonstrating our new self in Christ must begin in our homes.
  • Is your mind and heart set on Christ at your home?
  • Is your old self purged at your home?
  • Are you demonstrating Christ-like virtues at your home?
  • Is Jesus the Lord of your family?

Your home reveals what your heart truly worships.

If Christ rules your heart, He must reshape your home.

Call to Action: The “Home Altars” Challenge

• If Christ has truly raised you to new life, your life at home must reflect that higher calling.
  • Wives → “Will you trust God’s design?”
  • Husbands → “Will you love sacrificially?”
  • Children & Youth → “Will you honor your parents with your hearts?
  • Parents → “Will you lead with grace?”

Don’t just invite Jesus into your heart—enthrone Him in your home.

Revival doesn’t start in the church—it starts in the home.