HOUSE RULES PT 5: Leaders Worth Following
WEEK 5 · SERMON NOTES
LEADERS WORTH FOLLOWING
1 Timothy 3:1–13
| BIG IDEA God’s standard for leadership is character before competence — and almost everything on the list is something every believer should want. SERIES QUESTION What does a healthy church family look like — and what threatens it? |
ANCHOR VERSE · 1 TIMOTHY 3:15
“…you may know how one ought to behave in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, a pillar and buttress of the truth.”
| THIS WEEK’S PASSAGE 1 TIMOTHY 3:1–13 ESV |
| 1 The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. 2 Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, 5 for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. 7 Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil. 8 Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain. 9 They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. 10 And let them also be tested first; then let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless. 11 Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things. 12 Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well. 13 For those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus. |
BEFORE WE BEGIN
▪ Every house looks good on the listing. But paint can cover anything. The __________ tells the truth.
▪ Paul wrote so we would know how to behave in the __________ of God (1 Tim 3:15). If the church is a household, somebody has to look after it.
▪ The world looks for people who can draw a __________. God looks for people who can carry the __________.
▪ Of roughly fifteen qualifications for an overseer, only __________ is a skill: able to teach. Every other line describes a __________.
READ MORE 1 Timothy 3:14–15 · 1 Timothy 1:15
| MOVEMENT 1 · v. 1 SEEK THE WORK, NOT THE TITLE |
In God’s house, the __________ comes before the __________.
▪ “The saying is trustworthy” — the same formula Paul used in 1:15: Christ Jesus came into the world to save __________.
▪ If you have felt a pull to serve and kept quiet so you wouldn’t look proud: that desire is not pride. The Word calls it __________.
▪ “A noble task” (kalou ergou) — a good __________. Paul did not describe a position. He described a __________.
▪ Whoever would be great among you must be your __________ (Matt 20:26). Jesus wrapped a towel around His waist and washed their __________ (John 13:14–15).
▪ Desire may lead you to the door, but __________ determines whether you are ready to walk through it.
| REMEMBER If you want the title without the __________, you have misread the sentence. |
If you are too important to __________, you are not ready to lead.
READ MORE 1 Timothy 1:15 · Matthew 20:25–28 · John 13:12–17
| MOVEMENT 2 · vv. 2–3 BUILD CHARACTER, NOT JUST CHARISMA |
Character is what is left when the stage __________ go off.
▪ Overseer (episkopos) — one who __________ over. In the New Testament it is the same office as __________ (Titus 1:5–7).
▪ The overseer is God’s __________. He does not own the house; he manages it for the __________.
▪ “Above reproach” (anepilēmptos) — literally, nothing to take __________ of. Not sinless, but no open, credible __________ an accuser can grab.
▪ Fear God. Trustworthy. Hate a bribe (Ex 18:21). Character before __________ — the same inspection, more than three thousand years ago.
▪ “The husband of one wife” — literally, a one-__________ man. I read it as present, proven __________.
▪ This is a qualification for an office. It is not a verdict on your place in this __________. The grace that reached Paul reaches you.
▪ Four rooms the inspector checks: self-control, the front __________ (philoxenos — a lover of __________), the temper, and the __________.
▪ The one skill: able to __________ — because the house runs on the __________.
▪ Almost everything on this list is the fruit of the __________ (Gal 5:22–23). Leaders are an example of the __________ Christian life, lived where everyone can see it.
| THIS WEEK’S LINE God is not looking for a platform __________. He is looking for a person you could __________ __________. |
READ MORE Titus 1:5–9 · Exodus 18:21 · Proverbs 25:28 · Romans 12:13 · 2 Timothy 2:24 · Hebrews 13:5 · James 3:1 · Galatians 5:22–23
| MOVEMENT 3 · vv. 4–7 LEAD AT HOME BEFORE YOU LEAD THE HOUSE |
What you are at __________ is what you are.
▪ Anybody can be patient on a Sunday. The question is what happens at the dinner table on __________ when nobody is watching.
▪ “Manage” (proistēmi) — to stand in __________ of. The one who stands in front of his family takes the __________ first.
▪ “Care for” (epimeleomai) — the same word used of the Good __________, who knelt in the road, tended wounds, and paid the bill (Luke 10:34).
▪ With all __________. Managing well never means harshness or control (Eph 6:4).
▪ “Recent convert” (neophytos) — literally, newly __________. You don’t put weight on a sapling; the __________ are not down yet.
▪ Well thought of by __________ (v. 7). A leader in God’s house has the same name on Monday that he has on __________.
| HEAR THIS If your children are struggling: God is the perfect Father, and His children __________ (Isa 1:2). Keep praying. Keep the porch __________ on. |
When this church asks you to wait before you lead, we are not holding you back. We are protecting you. Slow promotion is pastoral __________.
READ MORE Luke 10:30–37 · Ephesians 6:4 · Isaiah 1:2 · Psalm 1:3 · Proverbs 16:18 · Proverbs 22:1
| MOVEMENT 4 · vv. 8–13 PROVE FAITHFUL BEFORE YOU’RE ENTRUSTED |
The ones who serve well are the ones who were __________ first.
▪ Deacon (diakonos) simply means __________. In Acts 6 the job was serving tables, and the church still looked at __________ first.
▪ Not double-tongued: one __________, not two. A clear conscience has been the drumbeat of this letter since chapter one.
▪ “Tested first” (dokimazō) — a word for testing __________ in the fire. Testing is a __________, not a moment.
▪ One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in __________ (Luke 16:10). Show up. Stack the chairs. Keep your word. The little things are the __________.
▪ Verse 11 can be read “wives” or “__________.” Paul commends Phoebe, a diakonos of the church at Cenchreae (Rom 16:1).
▪ The reward for serving well is not a bigger title. It is great __________ in the faith (v. 13).
| THE ONLY LEADER WHO NEVER FAILS Jesus is the true __________ of your soul (1 Pet 2:25) and the true __________: “I am among you as the one who serves” (Luke 22:27). The greatest Leader did not climb a throne to be served; He went to a __________ to save. Honor your leaders. Pray for your leaders. But build on __________. |
WEAKNESS IS NEVER AN EXCUSE FOR ABUSE.
If a leader has hurt you, what this passage describes is not what happened to you. Talk to a pastor this week — and don’t let a failed shepherd keep you from the Good one.
READ MORE Acts 6:1–6 · Luke 16:10 · Romans 16:1–2 · Matthew 25:21 · 1 Peter 2:25 · Luke 22:27
| THIS WEEK LOOK IN THE MIRROR · HOLD UP YOUR LEADERS · RAISE YOUR HAND |
☐ LOOK IN THE MIRROR
Read 1 Timothy 3:1–13 slowly and mark the one line that convicts you. Not your spouse’s line. Yours. Then pray Psalm 139:23–24.
The line I marked: ______________________________
☐ HOLD UP YOUR LEADERS
Pray by name for the elders, deacons, and ministry leaders of this church — their homes, their marriages, their integrity. Write one note to a leader whose private life matches what they teach (Heb 13:7).
Who I’ll write to: ______________________________
☐ RAISE YOUR HAND
If you have felt the noble desire, don’t sit on it. Talk to a pastor this week. Start small. Let us walk with you, test you, and train you.
Where I could start: ______________________________
☐ KEEP PRAYING YOUR TWO NAMES
From Week 3 — every day. We are not done.
| THE CHARGE · THIS WEEK’S ANSWER TO THE SERIES QUESTION A healthy family chooses leaders the way an inspector evaluates a house: for the foundation, not the paint. It wants servants before stars, homes that tell the truth, and character proven over time. What threatens it is choosing leaders for the platform instead of the life, and building our faith on people instead of on Christ. |
WHAT IS THE HOLY SPIRIT TELLING ME THROUGH THIS MESSAGE?
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