• Relationships are more than just a means to an important end. Relationships are the end.

Revelation 21:3 (ESV)

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.

• We can shift to regularly fellowshipping with each other and learning to love each other. But, we must also shift from Recognition to Realness.

Matthew 5:16 (ESV)

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

John 17:20-26 (NLT)

20 “I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. 21 I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me.

22 “I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one. 23 I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me. 24 Father, I want these whom you have given me to be with me where I am. Then they can see all the glory you gave me because you loved me even before the world began!

25 “O righteous Father, the world doesn’t know you, but I do; and these disciples know you sent me. 26 I have revealed you to them, and I will continue to do so. Then your love for me will be in them, and I will be in them.”

You can’t be truly loved if you’re not allowing yourself to be truly known.

4 Things That Helps Us Be Real

#1) SINAI GROUPS ARE REALLY FOR YOU

When you allow yourself to be real in relationship here’s what follows:

A) Less Pressure

B) Met Needs

C) More Time

D) More Discipleship

#2) REAL LOVE ALWAYS TRUSTS

1 Corinthians 13:7 (NLT)

 “Loves always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

trusts = believes, committed unto; put in trust with; entrust; to think to be true.

• The point of this passage is to describe love as something that keeps giving grace… keeps forgiving… keeps fighting for the person. It’s a love that perseveres.

#3) BE REAL NOT RECKLESS

• Jesus shared his inner struggles with the people closest to him (Matthew 26:36-46).

James 5:16a (ESV)

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed…

• Certainly, we must be discerning and prayerful as we decide whom to share with and how to share what is happening within us.
• We must avoid both spiritual isolation and reckless vulnerability.

Here are some thoughts to consider when being vulnerable with others:

A) Foster the kinds of relationships that create a culture of honesty.

B) Develop deep and lasting relationships with mature people in the church.

C) Develop Biblical rules with close friends that clarify how to handle our times of struggle.

Here are some examples of rules:

1. If I share something with you, you must not share it with anyone else, unless I am causing harm to myself, my family, or the church.
2. By “harm,” I mean that I have put myself, my family, or our church in danger legally, or have put my ministry at risk of losing its voice for the Lord.
3. If you decide I am not listening and you feel you need to get outside counsel on how to handle this beyond the two of us, you must tell me before you do anything else. There must be no surprises.
4. If you decide you need counsel to know how to handle this, then we must decide together who that outside counsel will be.

D) Enlist a professional Christian counselor to help work through certain seasons.

E) Be willing to step down in extreme situations

James 3:2 (ESV)

For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body.

• We all struggle with sin. But when it’s deliberate and ongoing, it requires a different level of accountability.

Hebrews 10:26-27 (NLT)

Dear friends, if we deliberately continue sinning after we have received knowledge of the truth, there is no longer any sacrifice that will cover these sins. There is only the terrible expectation of God’s judgment and the raging fire that will consume his enemies.

#4) REALLY CONNECT

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NLT)

9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? 12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Two things the Ephesians church had that helped them to closely bond…

A) Tears

Acts 20:18-19 (NLT)

When they arrived he declared, “You know that from the day I set foot in the province of Asia until now I have done the Lord’s work humbly and with many tears. I have endured the trials that came to me from the plots of the Jews.

Acts 20:31 (NLT)

Watch out! Remember the three years I was with you—my constant watch and care over you night and day, and my many tears for you.

Acts 20:37-38a (NLT)

They all cried as they embraced and kissed him good-bye. They were sad most of all because he had said that they would never see him again…

B) Truth

Acts 20:20-21 (ESV)

how I did not shrink from declaring to you anything that was profitable, and teaching you in public and from house to house, testifying both to Jews and to Greeks of repentance toward God and of faith in our Lord Jesus Christ.

Acts 20:25-27 (NLT)

“And now I know that none of you to whom I have preached the Kingdom will ever see me again. I declare today that I have been faithful. If anyone suffers eternal death, it’s not my fault, for I didn’t shrink from declaring all that God wants you to know.

• Tears & truth joined in relationship connects people deeply.

Acts 20:20b (ESV) — …“and teaching you in public and from house to house”

• Church is shedding tears together and speaking truth to each other.

Christians need to be telling each other that it matters what they’re going through. Christians need to be telling each other that it matters what they become.

Ephesians 4:11-16 (NLT)

11 Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. 12 Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. 13 This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ.

14 Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. 15 Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. 16 He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.

CONCLUSION

• Discipleship is for you. Being real is the only way to experience real love. Being real is the only way to grow in relationships. Being real is the only way to become mature disciple makers. Being real is the only way to be a church.