Romans 15:1-2 (Voice)

So now what? We who are strong are not just to satisfy our own desires. We are called to carry the weaknesses of those who are not strong. Each of us must strive to please our neighbors, pursuing their welfare so they will become strong.

• We can shift to regularly fellowshipping with each other, learning to love each other with realness. But without shifting from Skepticism to Safety, we won’t experience the richness of relationships as God intended.

Romans 14:19 (NLT)

So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up.

• When we cultivate a culture of trust, we can edify one another. And the goal of edification is to protect the koinonia which the enemy wants to destroy.

Hebrews 5:14 (ESV)

But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.

Are you a safe/trustworthy person?

Seven Attributes Of A SAFE Person

#1) COURAGE

• You speak the truth in love even when it is hard.
• You tell me what I need to hear rather than I want to hear.
• This commitment to truth means I can respect you even if I don’t agree with you.

Ephesians 4:15 (NLT)

Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.

1 John 3:18 (NLT)

Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.

2 John 1:3-6 (NLT)

Grace, mercy, and peace, which come from God the Father and from Jesus Christ—the Son of the Father—will continue to be with us who live in truth and love. How happy I was to meet some of your children and find them living according to the truth, just as the Father commanded. I am writing to remind you, dear friends, that we should love one another. This is not a new commandment, but one we have had from the beginning. Love means doing what God has commanded us, and he has commanded us to love one another, just as you heard from the beginning.

#2) HONESTY

• You keep your word.
• You tell me the truth about yourself.
• You are sincere.
• You don’t lie.

Matthew 22:16 (ESV)

And they sent their disciples to him, along with the Herodians, saying, “Teacher, we know that you are true and teach the way of God truthfully, and you do not care about anyone’s opinion, for you are not swayed by appearances.”

Psalm 24:3-4 (NLT)

Who may climb the mountain of the LORD? Who may stand in his holy place? Only those whose hands and hearts are pure, who do not worship idols and never tell lies.

Proverbs 6:16-19 (NLT)

There are six things the LORD hates— no, seven things he detests: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord in a family.

Exodus 20:16 (NLT)

You must not testify falsely against your neighbor.

#3) HUMILITY

• You are coachable.
• You can admit to being wrong and ask for forgiveness.
• You can be a servant to the needs of others at the expense of your image.

2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NLT)

All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.

1 Peter 5:5 (NLT)

In the same way, you younger men must accept the authority of the elders. And all of you, serve each other in humility, for “God opposes the proud but favors the humble.”

James 1:21 (NLT)

So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.

#4) LOYALTY

Loyalty is a commitment to an ongoing relationship and to the attitude and behavior demanded by it.

• You don’t gossip.
• You don’t run for cover when it gets hard to be a friend.
• You keep a confidence when entrusted with it.
• You defend me to others even if it costs you to do so.
• You give me the benefit of the doubt when you hear things about me you don’t like and will come to me personally to find out.

Proverbs 17:17 (NLT)

A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.

Proverbs 27:10 (NLT)

Never abandon a friend— either yours or your father’s. When disaster strikes, you won’t have to ask your brother for assistance. It’s better to go to a neighbor than to a brother who lives far away.

#5) WISDOM

• Scripture guides your perspective and actions.
• As someone who desires wisdom, you consider others’ perspective when you deal with things or issues they are responsible for or are connected to.

Job 28:28 (NLT)

And this is what he says to all humanity: ‘The fear of the Lord is true wisdom; to forsake evil is real understanding.’ ”

Psalm 111:10 (ESV)

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all those who practice it have a good understanding. His praise endures forever!

Psalm 51:6 (ESV)

Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.

#6) RECONCILIATION

2 Corinthians 5:19 (ESV)

that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.

Reconciliation = change or exchange; For example: change from enmity to friendship; from antagonism to goodwill.

• You point me and others to God’s heart when conflict arises.
• You seek reconciliation.
• Your goal is to put out fires rather than put gas on them.
• You fight for the restoration of relationships.

Matthew 5:24 (ESV)

leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Romans 8:7 (ESV)

For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot.

#7) FORGIVENESS

• Our relationship will not be easy to break.
• There is safety in a relationship when you know both people have the right expectations.
• Even when we fail, we know we will work it out.

Matthew 6:14-15 (NLT)

“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Song of Songs 2:15 (NLT)

Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming!

Philippians 2:3-4 (ESV)

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

True forgiveness is given freely because we want to absolve our brother/sister from the guilt and responsibility of what they did, because we love them and want to free ourselves from anything that may interrupt the growth and victory of our relationship.

Matthew 18:35b (NLT)

“… forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”

CONCLUSION

• Part of the maturing process is dealing with the issue of building, maintaining, and repairing trust in relationships.
• Here is another great way of saying the same thing… Are you a person of integrity?

Psalm 7:8 (ESV)

The LORD judges the peoples; judge me, O LORD, according to my righteousness and according to the integrity that is in me.

Integrity = a person faithful to a standard of values

• The focus of our attention needs to be on us becoming trustworthy and safe person who go first in trying to do what Jesus would do in every relationship situation.