• The key to restoring a marriage after betrayal is TRUST.
• How can trust be restored?
• The trust can be healed— but it’s the unresolved anger that prevents it from healing.

2 Corinthians 5:17-21 ESV

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

10 Ways To Rebuild Trust In Your Marriage:

#1) ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS

• Intentionally show your spouse their value through your decisions… whether big or small with her or him in mind.

• Make a list of trust building behaviors that matter to your spouse.

• Show them that you mean what you say with actions.

James 1:22-25 ESV

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves…

#2) MEET THEIR NEEDS

• The key is to take your spouse’s needs into consideration while expressing yours too.
  • What do you need in your relationship in order to feel loved, fulfilled and secure?
  • What does your spouse need from you?
  • What is their love language?

Philippians 2:1-4 ESV

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

#3) MEAN WHAT YOU SAY

• If you have trouble following through on your words or actions, you need to own it.

• When you admit you made a mistake or that you messed up, it makes a big impact on regaining trust.

Matthew 5:37 ESV

Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.

#4) YOUR SPOUSE COMES FIRST

• Like Christ, your attitude and efforts in marriage should be serving your spouse above all else.

• When you put your spouse’s needs ahead of your own, you’re communicating respect, courtesy, and love.

Ephesians 5:25 ESV

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

#5) ELIMINATE FAMILIARITY

• Familiarity is a silent killer in the marriage. The law of familiarity blends one day into another, meaning you stop doing the things you used to do before.

• Marriage should be an adventure in which we are continuously discovering each other.

Proverbs 30:18-19 NLT

There are three things that amaze me— no, four things that I don’t understand: how an eagle glides through the sky, how a snake slithers on a rock, how a ship navigates the ocean, how a man loves a woman.

#6) SURROUND YOURSELF WITH BLESSED MARRIAGE-MINDED FRIENDS

• Take inventory of the relationships in your life.
  • What relationships are influencing the decisions you make in your marriage?
  • Who is willing to hold you accountable?
  • Identify toxic relationships and limit contact.

Proverbs 13:20 ESV

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

1 Corinthians 15:33 ESV

Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

#7) VULNERABILITY IS KEY

• Vulnerability = “being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.”

• Vulnerability is the mortar to building the bricks of trust.

Ephesians 4:32 ESV

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

#8) SET REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

• Broken trust is often the aftermath of unrealistic expectations.

• Many times, people enter a marriage with unrealistic expectations thinking their spouse would be the source of happiness.

1 Peter 4:8 ESV

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

#9) FIGHT FAIR

• The goal isn’t to prove your point or to be right, the goal is to win for your marriage.

• Ask God to give you the tools to not only fight fair but to fight for your marriage.

Ephesians 5:15 NKJV

See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise,

• circumspectly = akribōs = exactly; diligently, perfectly; accurately. Your walk aligns with His Word; aligns with what you are declaring.

#10) THE PAST STAYS IN THE PAST

• Both of you are new creations in Christ, therefore both of you are not who you used to be.

• If you remind your spouse of their mistakes, they will eventually feel defeated.

• If the past threatens to invade the present, focus on things your partner is doing.

Isaiah 43:18-19 ESV

“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

CONCLUSION

• You can restore your marriage when you love your spouse as God loves you.
• God does all 10 for us.

1. God’s love was revealed through His actions.
2. God meets our needs and (sometimes even our wants).
3. God is true to His Words.
4. God prioritizes you.
5. When God sees you, He sees His amazing Son.
6. God places people around you that will be a blessing to you.
7. God is our refuge and we can come to him with an open and honest heart.
8. God is patient with us and knows what we can handle.
9. God is for you and not against you.
10. God leaves your past in the past. (As far as the E is to the W)

Psalm 103:12 NLT

He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.

• Restoring trust in the marriage is a commitment that with God’s help can make it a stronger marriage than ever before.

Psalm 128:1-4 ESV

Blessed is everyone who fears the LORD, who walks in his ways! You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the LORD.